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Keeping a Good Nanny

When Alison walked though the door I knew at once she was "the one". I'd interviewed about eight candidates already so I wasn't a novice and I knew exactly what I was looking for, but gut instinct always has to play a role.

I knew I had to move quickly. The week before I had phoned an agency to invite a nanny back for another interview only to discover she had been placed three hours after seeing me.

I had my stock list of questions which I knew by heart but for some reason I found myself trying to sell the job to Alison, showing her the newly decorated bedroom and saying what a "relaxed, down-to-earth" family we were.

She had been looking for a job for a couple of weeks so I told her to level with me - had she been offered anything she like the look of? Yes, she'd had several offers. Was she interested in my job? Yes. I asked her to come back on Saturday and meet my son and husband.

On Saturday my son wore his most adorable clean clothes and was - I'm ashamed to admit it - bribed with sweets to behave. He took an instant liking to Alison so I didn't quibble with money, offered her as reasonable hours as I could and crossed my fingers.

My instincts were confirmed when I called both of her referees who would have "taken her back tomorrow".

Lucky that we have two bathrooms; one relatively presentable, the other a tiny, shoddy mess. Of course we surrendered the better one and the four of us family crowd into the one with peeling paper and a wonky loo seat.

Alison finishes at 6.30 and as I work from home I have no excuses for being late. What's nice is that if she's not busy she sits down with me and kids and has a glass of wine. I always make sure I don't have any commitments that will make me late on Tuesdays so she get to her evening class (she's retaking her Maths GCSE) in time.

Alison's actually more likely to see us rolling in drunk in the evening when she babysits than the other way round - on Friday and Saturday nights she arrives home in the early hours and surfaces sometime after lunch. But what she does in her own time is entirely her affair. The relationship can only work if you respect your nanny as a qualified professional. If she doesn't deserve your respect you've employed the wrong person.
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Being nice to your nanny will reap rewards. You may feel like you are choosing her, but she can actually afford to be far more fussy about who she works for.
In the current climate mums must bend over backwards to keep a good nanny. Any nanny worth their salt could be out your door and into another in a matter of hours. I actually get worried about another mum poaching her in the playground when she drops my son off in the morning.

Nannies talk and of course there must be professional rivalry. If her friend has a job with a car, flat and more money your nanny may start to get itchy feet. If you have nothing else to barter with let her finish early one day a week or try and give her more days off.

The biggest complaint from nannies is that they feel they are being taken advantage of. One nanny complained that if her employer was very late home from work she didn't count it as babysitting. The nanny had two allotted babysitting nights per week but was effectively doing four. Another nanny left because she always spent an hour in the morning cleaning up the kitchen after her employers had entertained the night before. A nanny is going to be far keener on your job if you employ a cleaner and don't expect her to do your dirty work. Not a cheap option.

Of course no nanny is going to stay forever, however good you are or however much you beg. Alison has decided to go to teacher training college next September. I'm sure she will be a brilliant teacher so I have had to give in gracefully.


Tips for Keeping Your Nanny

  • Draw up a contact before she starts and stick to it (see contracts).
  • Make sure you give her regular pay increases and bonuses at Christmas and her birthday.
  • Try and be on time. Give her extra time off if she has worked over.
  • Don't leave her to tidy up after you, that's not her job.
  • Respect her privacy but offer support and advice when she asks for it.
  • Don't let anything stew. If there has been any unpleasantness clear the air.